Are We Finally Over the Situationship Era?

As a 2000s kid exposed to the highly utopian world of rom-coms since I was 3 years old, I grew up a hopeless romantic at heart, silently wishing to experience fairytale romance. The biggest irony? We grew up romanticising love, only to become the generation that normalised keeping it casual. From wanting our own DDLJ moment to battling through the confusion of 'what are we?' conversations, our generation has taken quite a detour. And somewhere between grand romantic gestures and happily-ever-afters, the situationship emerged—becoming the defining relationship story of our time. 

But over the last few years, something has changed. The nonchalant, too-cool-to-care persona that once made someone seem "desirable" has lost its charm. Perhaps because, beneath all the “let’s keep it casual” and “see where it goes,” nothing is truly casual when feelings are involved. 

“It felt like my feelings, my attachment was all for nothing. It truly impacted my mental health in a negative way.” — Bhavna Yadav, A former situationship survivor, currently romanticising solitude.

What makes the situationship particularly exhausting is not always what happens, but what doesn't happen. With no official beginning, no defined boundaries and expectations, and often, no clear ending, situationships become a game of filling in the blanks, interpreting pauses, and wondering whether asking for reassurance is “too much.”

“It felt like a constant rollercoaster for my feelings.” —Soniya Bijarnia, Someone who did not, in fact, enjoy the ride.

Let's be honest, situationships do not always begin as a recipe for emotional disaster. Sometimes, they make sense—not everyone is looking for a committed relationship, and not every connection needs to be rushed into a label before two people are able to understand each other. There is something refreshing about getting to know someone without the immediate pressure of defining the next five years together. For people navigating new cities, demanding careers, changing priorities, or simply learning what they want from a relationship, taking things slowly can be a good thing. The actual problem starts when "taking things slowly" becomes a permanent state of affairs.

Allowing a connection to grow naturally and keeping someone in a perpetual state of uncertainty because making things official would require an honest conversation are two very different things. The former gives two people room to grow, and the latter leaves one or both individuals guessing. The occasional butterflies-inducing text or spontaneous late-night conversation can make the arrangement feel exciting, but chemistry alone cannot tell you whether two people are actually moving in the same direction. The appeal of the emotionally unavailable love interest may work wonderfully in fiction, where the audience knows that the protagonist will eventually make a dramatic confession in the rain. In real life, however, nobody has the luxury of knowing whether the person who has disappeared for three days is preparing a grand gesture or has no intention of texting back.

This is exactly why the conversation around modern dating is beginning to change. After years of glorifying emotional detachment, keeping things undefined, and pretending that catching feelings is a personal inconvenience. There seems to be a growing appetite for something far less complicated: knowing where you stand.

“I spent more time decoding their texts than actually enjoying the relationship.”— Vardaan Gupta, An unwilling participant of overthinking.

The irony is that situationships are often chosen to avoid the complications associated with relationships, yet the absence of clarity can create confusion and frustration. You begin to wonder whether asking where things are going will make you seem needy; you hesitate before expressing disappointment because you are not technically in a relationship, and you convince yourself that you are happy with the arrangement, even if you want consistency.

Thus, communication is an important tool. An honest conversation might not give you the answer you want, but it can at least give you an answer you can work with. It allows you to decide whether you are happy with what is being offered instead of building expectations around what might eventually happen.

“I kept trying to become the kind of person they would want, until I forgot to ask what I wanted.”— Sufiyan Athar, A former overachiever in the department of being almost enough.

Of course, not every situationship ends in heartbreak. But when uncertainty starts affecting your peace of mind, keeping things casual can begin to feel like a full-time job with no benefits. You might even find yourself turning down other connections while waiting for this one to go somewhere.

Perhaps we are not necessarily giving up on casual dating; we are simply getting tired of pretending that having feelings is embarrassing. We can be independent and still want reassurance, enjoy our solitude and still crave companionship. What matters is being honest enough to recognise when two people want different things.

We grew up waiting for grand declarations, airport chases and perfectly timed confessions. Perhaps growing up means realising that romance can also look like someone showing up when they say they will, listening when something is wrong and making you feel secure enough to stop guessing. Situationships may have taught us how to live with uncertainty, but perhaps communication is teaching us that we do not have to.